We woke up as the sun was rising, around 06:00.  We came in over Praslin, with La Digue to the left, until we looped back right towards Mahe.  We landed around 07:00.  We were at the back of a 3-4-3 plane, behind over 150 people, and contrary to what we’d been told (and probably paid for), there was no “fast track” through immigration for us.  There was no issue with our health form, so at least that worked out.  The immigration line was long but moved at an okay pace.  We checked our stamps again, and the stamp was in the shape of a Coco de Mer.  Given how long we’d been waiting, it wasn’t a surprise that our bag was already waiting on the conveyor belt.  

We met our driver and quickly got into his vehicle.  We were surprised that the driving was on the left.  We thought Seychelles was a French protectorate, and it was, but it was British in the past and the driving side still reflects that.  The only paperwork the driver had for us was a letter discussing our transfer back to Praslin (from La Digue) in a few days, and it had the wrong hotel for us on Praslin, so that - combined with the lack of any communication similar to what the UAE local operator had given us, plus the lack of immigration fast tracking - didn’t give us warm fuzzies.

On the drive it was morning rush hour.  There was a big truck right behind us, and the whole morning wasn’t making the best first impression for the Seychelles.  Perhaps it was just because we were tired, but we figured we’d be chilling on the beach in La Digue in no time.  The island was very green, with steep mountains to the west (we were on the east coast).  In addition to the normal tropical fare, there were also lots of ironwood trees.  When we got to the ferry location, we were led into a small office where we picked up our tickets for the ferry to La Digue (via Praslin).  We saw the ferry was at 10:30, and we glanced at our watches - it was just past 08:00.  This wait was unexpected; perhaps if the local agent had ever given us or Julian anything - anything - with regards to our itinerary, we would have known this wait was coming and planned accordingly.  As it was, we had nothing to do but sit outside and sweat for 2+ hours while smelling rotting fish.  It wasn’t the lack of sleep; this was in fact a pretty crappy beginning to the Seychelles portion of the trip.

Justin checked out the restaurant next door, and hoped the pricing was not indicative of what to expect for the next week - it was $15 for scrambled eggs, not eggs plus sides, just the eggs themselves.  He walked back to the jetty and sat down next to Crystal.  Slowly but surely more people from our flight started to show up in the fishy waiting area.  After about 5 minutes of just sitting in silence, Justin asked Crystal “Would you rather sit here and be hot while smelling like fish, or go over there and be cooler and get priced gouged?  Which sounds better?”  “If we can pay with a card, let’s go over there.”  

So we went over there.  Our order was 2 Hurricanes for Crystal and 4 rums (3 Takamatas, the local rum) for Justin, and we shared some fried chicken and fries.  We felt a bit better after this.  We remembered to take some motion sickness pills too, just in case.  We boarded just before 10:00, and we were seated upstairs in a small “business” class with nice AC.  We got window seats on the left side of the ship.  There were plenty of Coco de Mer decorations in the room, and we couldn’t decide whether the seeds look more like a butt or a vagina.  We decided butt.  Between the red eye flight, the dramamine, and the hurricanes, Crystal went right to sleep.  Justin followed shortly behind.  It was about an hour to Praslin, a short stop, and then 15 minutes more to La Digue, but to us it all happened in about 15 minutes.

At the jetty in La Digue, it was us and about 10 other people who met the folks from our hotel, Le Domaine L’Orangerie.  It took a while to get everyone and their stuff set up in the golf cart for the transfer.  It was a little infuriating since we could literally see the hotel from the jetty, it was just a couple hundred meters north, and we could’ve walked there in about 3 minutes.  We had to fill out a bunch of forms when we arrived.  

Our first take (more Justin than Crystal) is that the hotel could not have been more disappointing for the steep price we had paid.  First, they kept asking for a voucher (which we had not received from the local agency) - who needs that in 2022?  Then, our room wasn’t ready, even though we checked in after the check-in time of 13:00 that they had told us 15 minutes prior.  Whilst we waited for our room, the internet didn’t work, as they’d told us the wrong room number for where we were staying, and so we just got a “guest not found” error for the wi-fi when we attempted to log on.  At the room, we were greeted to the soothing sounds of construction and a leaf blower.  Inside, the AC unit was dripping water onto the smooth wood floor between the bedroom and the bathroom, making the floor dangerously slippery.  Once we got the wi-fi working, it was effectively unusable - 74kb/sec, slower than the hotel in Yemen, for goodness sakes.  The desk had 4 plugs, but all of them were in use, so something had to get unplugged to be able to plug in our computers.  There was an outdoor shower and sinks, which were great, but there was no indoor sink, meaning that every time you wanted to wash your hands, even in the middle of the night, you had to go outside.

It was as if the hotel had seen pictures, YouTube videos, and TV shows of other luxury resorts and tried to copy the fanciest parts, but ignored the basics that are inconspicuous until you realize they aren’t there.  For example, luxury isn’t flowers on the bed, it’s not having visible dirt on other parts of the bed (as ours did).  Luxury isn’t having a gorgeous outdoor sink; it’s having a functional sink that doesn’t require going outside in the middle of the night.  Luxury isn’t hitting some giant gong outside when we arrive; it’s having our room ready for check-in when check-in time arrives.  Luxury isn’t having an air conditioner with 17 different settings on the remote; it’s having one that can easily change the temperature up or down with simple dials.  Luxury isn’t having some artsy website; it’s having functional internet at the hotel.

Irritated but happy to finally be in the Seychelles, we decided to walk to lunch, and found a spot a little north of where we were staying.  There was a very lengthy beach called Anse Severe, and we grabbed a couple drinks and some food at the Takamaka Cafe.  We had some food and some fruity drinks with a view of the beach and ocean, which is about all one could ask for.  On the walk back to the hotel we saw a couple giant tortoises crossing the road, or in the case of one of them, just stopping in the middle of the road.  Thankfully there are hardly any cars on the island, and the tortoises are so large they’d be hard to miss.

After getting back to the hotel we decided to head down to La Digue’s most famous beach, Anse Source d’Argent, about a 45 minute walk.  We walked through “town” with a dozen or so shops and restaurants, a school, the jetty area, and not a whole lot more.  Everyone rides bikes, except for the two of us that were walking.  It was kind of hot outside, but not as bad as Socotra.  Our feet were starting to get tired as we got closer to the beach.  Shortly before we got there we came across L’Union Estate, which wanted to charge us an entry fee, but we had no desire to see anything in the estate, just to go down the road to the beach.  So, as a practical matter, we had to pay a ransom to these trolls to get to the beach.  The beaches in Seychelles are supposed to be free, but since there was no alternative route to get to Anse Source d’Argent, the Estate was flaunting that rule.  The woman at the ticket desk was not the least bit empathetic, which just added insult to injury.

Walking back, dejected, Justin got a new blister on his left foot, and ended up walking back most of the way barefoot.  Back at the hotel, he walked to the pool deck to watch the sunset, hoping that would at least be free.  Someone came over to ask if he wanted anything and he said “nope, nothing, thanks.”  Crystal went back to the room and got cleaned up - or maybe to just get away from her husband.  Justin went back to the room a bit later, and his key card didn’t work, so it was good that Crystal was already done with the shower.  We tried to recharge our prepaid Spanish cell phone plan whilst we were thinking about it, but kept getting errors, likely because the insanely slow internet was timing out.

We went to dinner around 19:30.  It was already dark outside, and we realized that there was a death trap just outside our room - on the right side of the walkway there was a 6 meter (20 foot) drop to the ground below, with no fencing of any kind, no lighting of any kind, and it would have been easy to just step off the side (visible on the left of this picture from the next morning).  We had the dinner buffet included in our rate (which is why we went at all), but the choices were all pretty awful.  Justin ate almost nothing, and Crystal barely ate more than that.  To boot, they charged us for still water.  We went to sleep right after that.  Seychelles, you could not have made a more disappointing first impression.